A Mantra Called 'Slowly But Surely'

Hi there my fellow readers! How's your life schedule ever since MCO started? I hope you guys are doing great in a best possible way you can give at the moment. Even if you feel suddenly drained in terms of mental, physical or emotionally I assure you to take a moment of yourself to pick up whatever pieces that you lost and found.

Recently, I just come out with an idea as inspired by AidaAzlin's #LoveLetter where she shared mostly of her thoughts, life experiences and reflections she learned in relation with life value and lessons from our belief (example: hadith and verses in Quran). It is from her that I slowly try to learn love myself better even if its just a fraction small matters inside me, because yeah like our true purpose in life it was always about trying to become the better version of ourselves (as quoted from AidaAzlin too hiks thank you senpai!) 

So, I have decided that I will try my very best to at least post one or two writings here in my blog as a reminder to teach myself with beautiful and inspirational insights I learned or read from my current book readings or of somewhere I stumbled upon in the Internet (just like how AidaAzlin's Love Letter has helped me along the way). Plus, writing is therapeutic for an over thinker like me. It keeps my mind and heart on checked every time I feel like I'm at total lost with all the responsibilities in real life (read: adulting). 😌

Talking about adulting. Ever since I'm done studying long before I graduated, I found myself in a state of constant searching for job opportunities. Let it be part time, full time or freelance, under government or private companies. You name it and I'm sure I'm not the only one who experience it too. It is said that our generation having a hard time juggling with so many jobs just to make sure we have enough-sufficient money to pay all our commitments: bills, health insurance, house rent etc. I would love to say thank you to my previous job as an editor even if its cut in a short time. It does taught me few survival skills in adulting.

But then, I've also caught myself in a pile mess of confusions. I may look okay on the outside, but I can feel that my inside is empty. I've lost my interest in doing something I really passionate about. I slowly turned into a walking robot wishing the clock out time in the office would come as soon as possible. I feel like giving up, but then I remember for all the time I've been unemployed for about 9 months of how much I keep on scrolling any kind of platform finding job. The challenges for a person like me who studied in literature closed-to-humanities subject was that there's not a lot options for us to work in our related preferred job. 

Yet, I learned from my mom and realised that this isn't the time to be picky about the work we want to do. If letting go give such a meaning of peace to myself, the answer to my confusions will arrived shortly without me noticing it. I realised I was forcing myself to rush in everything I do. I was becoming impatient because I want a job experience. I forgot that no matter how many times we work hard on something, planning everything by setting out a timeline for ourselves. If it's not meant to be for us at the moment, there's always gotta be some new plan sorted for us by the divine power without us noticing it. We may not see it but eventually we will feel it at the end of the day. 

I love a quote from a friend of mine that says,  "Allah will wreck your plan if your plan is about to wreck you". *if you reading this, you know who you are and yes thank you!

It took me a while to get myself back on track. To feel whole of myself, because I couldn't stop thinking that it was myself to be blame for not giving out my best. Although I've given the best to everything, it just won't worked out. Feeling suffocated and helpless, I decided to retreat from adulting for a moment. I try to get back to zero, job searching and applying this and that. Alhamdulillah I did get a job opportunity and right now just wait for the whole MCO to end so I can get to report myself in duty. But let me tell you before that happens, I yet found myself in another episode of unwillingness to do everything right and just gonna jump out myself back to do the things I love and passionate about.

Then one day (and like many other days but I was too ignorant not to pay attention to practice it in my life), my partner advises me to take it slowly. What's the point of rushing yourself into something you don't even have the power to control it? There are things in life that we can control, such as our attitude and perspective. Same as the vice versa of it, stuffs that's out of our jurisdiction in life such as time and situation. But if we try to slow down and give ourselves a moment, sorting everything one by one, you will get to be at the place or moments that you wished and prayed for eventually. 

That's why it's called slowly but surely. We may not see it yet, but that's how it makes our life differ from each other. Life is like a puzzle, it has clues and mystery. Slowly things will start to make sense one by one when you learn to just let go of something you can't control and put your whole faith on the divine power that if its meant to be for you, you won't have to worry about anything. We just have to live and be right at this moment of our life for ourselves. Striving for any best possible ways to keep it going no matter how hard it's going to be. To always remember that your rezeki won't be taken away from you. What's meant to be for you will eventually find its way for you. It's just a matter of time and effort such as working your ass out to achieve it alongside with a constant day by day improved praying to show how much you want it.

Thus, that's why my post for today is a mantra called Slowly but Surely. I hope you guys enjoy reading it and learned something from it at least. Let's keep checking on each other throughout this MCO. In shaa Allah, I will come up with new mantra for my next writing to share with you guys. 

Adios amigos!🙋

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p/s: sorry for the language on the last two paragraph tho 😂😅