'Keajaiban' Lewat Mei Awalan Jun
Salamun'alaik dan hai! Terima kasih sekali lagi kepada sesiapa lah yang tekan link kepada post blog entri penulisan saya kali ini. Memasuki pertengahan tahun kedua puloh-dua puloh (omg that fast?!) sudan kita semua ni, Ramadhan pun sudah berlalu pergi dengan satu penangan cukup mendalam buat saya secara peribadi dan Syawal pun menyapa kita semua dengan satu hakikat norma kehidupan baharu yang mahu tidak mahu kena kita turuti. Ndak apa ada hikmah ini semua terjadi, dan boleh dikatakan banyak-banyak hikmah tu paling tidak tersangka dek luar kotak pengalaman hidup sendiri boleh berlaku dalam sekelip mata.
Seandainya saya tidak terlambat, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri semua! Maaf zahir dan batin, tunggu lah saya kerija, kumpul duit apa semua baru boleh kita share sama-sama rezeki in shaa Allah *uhuks.
I just want to share here that something happens way pretty much too fast for me. Remember how I always share sini yang konon dari kecik bercheta-cheta tinggi mau jadi penulis? To be honest I almost give up on that, because I have times bila jadi moral down tiba-tiba, tengok others sudah terbit buku or that others punya story-telling tu is way better than what I did. It took me ages jugak lah mau figure out what I actually want to do, apa niat murni-asal kau mau menulis, what are the wrongs and mistakes I've done before sampai rasa diri ni ndak layak mau menulis (lol the agony and overthinking doubts).
Last last, I learned that I have to construct each part of my story settings, plot and all the characters. Befriended your character as if you know them more than anything as quoted from Gina Yap Lai Yoong said in her book of A Writer's Journey. Memanusiakan manusia dan memberikan nyawa kehidupan kepada jalan cerita setiap karakter dalam cerita yang mau ditulis. Konon you're the creator to the character's story world lah gitu. Though I still cannot break from my old habit of writing randomly, out of spurge yang tiba-tiba muncul idea. Purely base on my mood jugak bila mau menulis. Right now, kena paksa diri to at least create something. Thus, terlahir lah ilham dan semangat mau menulis walaupun masih samar-samar juga kadang-kadang especially bila rasa mau give up.
Saya bekas tulis ni one cerpen, and passed it all around my close friends and great partner to read and review it. Both positive and encouragement feedback memang ada (ndak mau saya anggap negative just so I wouldn't be easily moral down huhu). It really helps me a lot, and dari situ pelan-pelan lah I try to plan out something kononlah. Dari sekecil idea yang for me to think it betul-betul maybe not matters to others, I try to push the negative thinking, doubts that might just kill the whole idea before it even started. I push myself since my partner also pushed me harder to at least not to be such a coward (kudos to you NZ). Once sudah terhasil sebuah cerpen yang nampak macam nonsense for me (like, apa aku merapuh ni), I try out my rezeki to send it to majalah Tunas Cipta to be publish. Ndak mengharap apa-apa pun, kalau terbit okaylah, kalau ndak pun ndak apa. Just continue with my other writing ideas. Because saya pegang dengan kata-kata my pretty gal L's (you know who you are uhuks) to always keep on writing.
One month later...
Nope, tiada balasan apa-apa. So, I assume that nah what's so special bout that one. Please keep on searching for new ideas and proceed with it. Sampailah saya bertembung dengan iklan peraduan penulisan Artikel Duduk Rumah Reviu Buku by mukasurat.my under Perbadanan Kota Buku. I decided to write reviu buku fiksyen pertama si Teme Abdullah kita, Empayar: Hikayat Putera Tanpa Nama because itu jaa the recent book that I closely-personally love every bits of reading experience with it. Dua hari jugak lah mau procastinate, memikir should I do this? What if I didn't win? Even though the payment amount is small to others, I keep on saying that it's okay. You can do this, you got this.
And so, a total of 837 words written book review for Teme Abdullah's book were sent out on the last day of entry for about two hours of cramping everything on words.
Three weeks later...
I saw via Perbadanan Kota Buku twitter, that they announced the winner of I don't know how many of them that won it. When I saw that it reaches the 7th, 8th etc person, mula lah balik rasa moral down. And so once again, it's okay niche writer Fatina just keep on proceeding and focus on your current writing project while waiting for your contract of service placement post. Mau dijadikan cerita, sambil menyambut birthday my crackheads since 1999, out of the blue dapat surat chenta encik Gmail tahniah dari Perbadanan Kota Buku sendiri.
I won it! And I'm the last one to won it, alhamdulillah... Teman-teman boleh lah jemput baca tulisan reviu saya dekat sini okay Empayar:Hikayat Putera Tanpa Nama.
It may sound and look like it's pretty not much of a big deal to some. But, it really bring such a big meaning for someone like me yang angan-angan langit ketujuh dia memang mau jadi penulis walaupun sampai sekarang masih terkapai-kapai to determine what kind of a writer I want to be. Apa pun as long as I'm able to write and pour out everything from my heart and mind, that's more than enough. Because, it was so 'noisy' up here that sometimes I did something out of my usual self.
One of it, start tengok filem dari Studio Ghibli. For someone yang ndak berapa into anime movie kecuali waktu sekolah terjebak sekali tengok filem chenta-chintun Jepun, decided to watch Spirited Away, Whisper of the Heart and Howl's Moving Castle (personal favourite!!!!!) Just for the sake of trying to relax my mind from reading and writing, other than wanting to find an inspiration since Studio Ghibli's film are proclaimed as one of the best story-telling technique and it does helped me A LOT. Suka betul saya sama Howl's Moving Castle tu sampai siap dengar OST and baca reviu artikel pasal movie tu. Kalau kalian berminat mau baca artikel tu it's this one Howl's Moving Castle should be the model for every book-to-film adaptation by Petrana Radulovic.
Selain daripada itu (karangan sangat), alhamdulillah dapat jugak posting guru interim and keputusan dia memang lah sangat tidak tersangka-sangka. I hope and pray that I will try my best untuk realisasikan my Penyata Hasrat meskipun hanya kontrak. Doakan saya ya teman-teman pembaca ^^
Just when I thought things could get better (typical humans), I'm sad for the past few days because I have to give away two of my kittens for adoption. Aslan and Blackie, kakak harap kamu dua okay jugak ya dengan owner baru. At least boleh lah dorang bagi sepenuh fokus with you guys, unlike me kena betul-betul bahagi perhatian dan kasih sayang kepada lima ekor anak bulu comel belaka. Among those sad days, I suddenly got another unexpectedly-great news in the early of my June...
 |
| Look closer.... |
*drum rolls |
| Tadahh! There's my cerpen and my name!! also, my friend's name aka senpai dalam penulisan kreatif si Toto Wibowo ~ |
Terus saya terfikir balik, cuba kalau kau hantar awal-awal cerpen kau tu. Banyak sudah kali boleh tersiar kalau kau ndak terlampau ikut perasaan keraguan dan takut sebab terlampau risau dengan sesuatu yang kau belum buat. Belum buat belum tahu kan orang bilang. Sudah buat doalah banyak-banyak agar sentiasa istiqamah untuk tidak putus harapan dengan diri sendiri, begitu juga dengan penentuan susur peristiwa kehidupan kita.
Mengambil pepatah Muhammad Haji Salleh,
"Semuanya hadir pada tempatnya, semuanya berlaku pada waktunya".
I couldn't agree more on that. Ada lah tu hikmah tersendiri yang akan ada sampai waktunya terungkap satu per satu. Kita just perlu usaha, sabar dan yakin dengan diri sendiri.
Punbagaimanawalau (gaya guru seni saya waktu sekolah dulu), entri tulisan kali ini selain bermaksud untuk saya kongsikan bersama kejayaan kecil buat tatapan saya pada hari-hari mendatang ketika berkarya dan bekerja, shout out to the people who never stop supporting and believing in me along the way in this inche-writer-fatina's writing journey. You guys are the real MVP to me. May Allah bless and if can, please make a du'a for me to keep on striving in this path. It means a lot to me. Who knows in the far future I might write about you guys 😜 kidding hoho
Apa yang baik tu datangnya dari Maha Esa, yang kurang baik tu pula hadirnya dari kelemahan saya sendiri. Thank you sebab bertahan baca tulisan saya sampai sini! Dengan itu, saya akhiri nukilan saya dengan memetik tulisan hikmah Hlovate dalam novel lejen Versus beliau (m/s 228).
"You'll never reach perfection because there's always a room for improvement. Yet, along the way to perfection you'll learn to get better."
-Ol'Joe-
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