my so-oh-wow-thoughts-on-life
Hi there. It's been awhile since I last write anything here. I'm sorry for the long overdue of not producing more writings than what I've set as my goal on the early year, my dear self. Things happen and it took only few overthinking phases to let your guard down and crumbles down your belief deep down inside me; self-doubts.
It took me a whole lot of courage to open up my laptop just to write a simple task or whatever writings i need or want to do at the moment. It's like, when suddenly a new idea pops up in my mind (mainly my heart), it got me the feeling of really wanting to share it to others. But then later on, a sudden numb left struck inside my heart and all at once the gush exciting-sparkly-serendipity feeling of wanting to write just went sink down the graveyard inside me.
Part of me is dead when it comes to writing. I keep on reminding myself what's your purpose to do writings. Why would you want to share such a crappy opinions or such artsy fictional thoughts of yours to others?
This time, I'm giving it a try because admit it, you have to give yourself a second chance to restart everything back.
A week ago while I was soul searching of myself and singing my lungs out in the shower (though in Islam it's forbidden to sing in the shower, but one can't help it when you just want to release stress and confusion). The Climb by the Miley Cyrus came up on my mind and this one lyric just gets my attention and heart squeezing like hell.
'Sometimes I gotta have to lose'
I cried, yeah. The sentimental part of me just cause me shaking so violently, because I thought I was useless for taking a break from doing anymore writings. Little did I know, there's a whoop of strength building up inside me. I don't know but maybe because I found one surah at twitter shared by others and retweeted it immediately and it's funny how and why i feel like the grey clouds and big rocks just left my heavy chest and blurred mind at ease.
I regained my strength. I want to give myself a second chance, or whatever how many chances in writings. Improvement day by day, learn new style of writing and train my writings to be less complicated (tbh if i do my writings in bahasa Melayu, nampak macam baku habis sampai tiada ruang untuk aku tulis sesempoi yang boleh, lol).
So, as to celebrate today's date on which all SPM 2019 candidates has received their results (kudos to you 2002 babies because you guys finally made it! but yeah be prepare for the next chapter of your learning and living process of life), I just want to tell you guys this few steps I learned in the hardest-confusing-oh-wow-that's-how-it-was-arranged-and-planned-by-the almighty for the past seven years since I left high school:
1. Watch 3Idiots.
2. Ask what you passionate of doing in your life of today + what are you good at doing= can i make such a big impact in my life?
3. Can I go far with this passion and dreams of mine? Yes, you can by putting your heart, mind and belief 10000% on it.
4.. Relax. When the people around you start pressuring you, take your ample time to think properly for YOURSELF.
5. If they don't understand, try to settle down with them by having a slow talk conversation and tell them your real goal in life. Not goals, but GOAL.
6. Focus one thing at a time. For example, try to do as many research as you can on your targeted field of further study.
7. Believe in YOURSELF.
8. Repeat number 1 if you still have self-doubts.
That's what I do lah. I love 3Idiots so much at one point I intentionally keep on playing it when my parents are around until they gave me green light to continue my study in Malay literature, haha.
We're all young, we will get to the right place and moments in our life that little did we know God has answered all along the way. You just need to be,
It took me a whole lot of courage to open up my laptop just to write a simple task or whatever writings i need or want to do at the moment. It's like, when suddenly a new idea pops up in my mind (mainly my heart), it got me the feeling of really wanting to share it to others. But then later on, a sudden numb left struck inside my heart and all at once the gush exciting-sparkly-serendipity feeling of wanting to write just went sink down the graveyard inside me.
Part of me is dead when it comes to writing. I keep on reminding myself what's your purpose to do writings. Why would you want to share such a crappy opinions or such artsy fictional thoughts of yours to others?
This time, I'm giving it a try because admit it, you have to give yourself a second chance to restart everything back.
A week ago while I was soul searching of myself and singing my lungs out in the shower (though in Islam it's forbidden to sing in the shower, but one can't help it when you just want to release stress and confusion). The Climb by the Miley Cyrus came up on my mind and this one lyric just gets my attention and heart squeezing like hell.
'Sometimes I gotta have to lose'
I cried, yeah. The sentimental part of me just cause me shaking so violently, because I thought I was useless for taking a break from doing anymore writings. Little did I know, there's a whoop of strength building up inside me. I don't know but maybe because I found one surah at twitter shared by others and retweeted it immediately and it's funny how and why i feel like the grey clouds and big rocks just left my heavy chest and blurred mind at ease.
I regained my strength. I want to give myself a second chance, or whatever how many chances in writings. Improvement day by day, learn new style of writing and train my writings to be less complicated (tbh if i do my writings in bahasa Melayu, nampak macam baku habis sampai tiada ruang untuk aku tulis sesempoi yang boleh, lol).
So, as to celebrate today's date on which all SPM 2019 candidates has received their results (kudos to you 2002 babies because you guys finally made it! but yeah be prepare for the next chapter of your learning and living process of life), I just want to tell you guys this few steps I learned in the hardest-confusing-oh-wow-that's-how-it-was-arranged-and-planned-by-the almighty for the past seven years since I left high school:
1. Watch 3Idiots.
2. Ask what you passionate of doing in your life of today + what are you good at doing= can i make such a big impact in my life?
3. Can I go far with this passion and dreams of mine? Yes, you can by putting your heart, mind and belief 10000% on it.
4.. Relax. When the people around you start pressuring you, take your ample time to think properly for YOURSELF.
5. If they don't understand, try to settle down with them by having a slow talk conversation and tell them your real goal in life. Not goals, but GOAL.
6. Focus one thing at a time. For example, try to do as many research as you can on your targeted field of further study.
7. Believe in YOURSELF.
8. Repeat number 1 if you still have self-doubts.
That's what I do lah. I love 3Idiots so much at one point I intentionally keep on playing it when my parents are around until they gave me green light to continue my study in Malay literature, haha.
We're all young, we will get to the right place and moments in our life that little did we know God has answered all along the way. You just need to be,
STRONG HEARTED,
UTTERLY 100% HAVE FAITH
&
BE YOURSELF
(in a way give room for improvement when it's needed).
And oh, before I forgot. Lower down our ego because the world is big and things can happen and you'll experience a whole lot of new stuffs, knowledge and lessons at the outside world of high school.
Thank you for reading my writings, and thank you for giving me a chance to share my so-oh-wow-thoughts-on-life.
Sampai ketemu lagi!
ps. typo tahun lahir budak espiyem dua kosong satu sembilan tadi, maaf T_T
ps. typo tahun lahir budak espiyem dua kosong satu sembilan tadi, maaf T_T
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